<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Mistletoe Protocol by Blizzard_Fire</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27644612">The Mistletoe Protocol</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire'>Blizzard_Fire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brucemas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adorable Bruce Banner, Awkward Bruce Banner, Awkward Steve Rogers, Christmas Fluff, Clint Barton is a Little Shit, Domestic Avengers, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:39:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27644612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Oh no,’ says Natasha as Clint walks in one morning with bags of dollar store mistletoe.<br/>‘Oh yes,’ says Clint. ‘JARVIS, how would you like to help me with a little team-building project?’</p><p>Clint booby-traps the tower with mistletoe. Poor Bruce has been kissed by nearly everyone… except Steve.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bruce Banner/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brucemas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Brucemas 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Mistletoe Protocol</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Brucemas 2020 Day 5: Bruce/Steve, Mistletoe</p><p>I have a soft spot for American Pi. It’s an underrated ship, which at its heart is two quiet, gentle people trying to figure out their place in the world. Fics for them are either really fluffy or REALLY filthy, and since last time I tried my hand at the smutty stuff I thought I’d write some festive feels.</p><p>Oh, and some Winterhawk may have snuck in here. I just went with it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Christmas, in Clint’s opinion, is the best time to fuck with people.</p><p>All the elements are there: lots of people in close proximity, plenty of mulled wine and eggnog, and of course the infinite possibilities of gag gifts. Obviously, Clint has that last one taken care of (he can’t wait to see Steve unveil his Captain America buttplug) but Christmas is still a week away. There’s plenty of time to have some fun whilst everyone’s here for the holidays.</p><p>‘Oh no,’ says Natasha as he walks in one morning with bags of dollar store mistletoe.</p><p>‘Oh yes,’ says Clint. ‘Have you <em>met</em> our friends? There’s so much sexual tension in here and it is my solemn duty to put a few cracks in it. I know you’ve got your eye on Hill, don’t even deny it.’</p><p>Natasha just rolls her eyes as he heads up to his room. ‘Put it wherever you want, you can’t <em>make</em> people kiss.’</p><p>‘Or <em>can</em> I?’ Clint waggles his eyebrows. Okay, he can’t. But he might be able to <em>encourage</em> more kissing, if people are given sufficient electronic incentive…</p><p>‘JARVIS,’ he says sweetly, ‘how would you like to help me with a little team-building project?’</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Clint gets up early and rigs the whole tower with mistletoe; no doorway is safe. Then he gets settled on the couch in the communal living room and waits. Soon enough, he gets his first victim – well, victims.</p><p>When Steve and Pepper step through the doorway, JARVIS plays <em>Jingle Bell Rock. </em>‘Uh, what is this?’ Steve looks around and sees Clint’s grin. His eyes narrow with suspicion.</p><p>Pepper points at the mistletoe hanging above them. ‘Is it something to do with this?’</p><p>Clint shrugs apologetically. ‘You guys gotta kiss or the music doesn’t stop. Sorry!’</p><p>She laughs. ‘Was this Tony’s idea?’</p><p>‘Nope. He helped me set it up, though.’ Tony had thought the idea was hilarious, and said that certain people in the tower needed to get their repressed feelings out in the open. Clint isn’t sure who he was referring to, though.</p><p>With a gentlemanly eyeroll, Steve leans in and pecks her on the cheek and the music fades out. ‘This feels like a recipe for disaster.’</p><p>‘I think it sounds fun,’ says Pepper.</p><p>The others get up for breakfast, but disappointingly they all enter in single file. He does catch Thor and Jane, though. Thor hasn't heard of mistletoe but apparently there's a similar tradition on Asgard (a considerably less PG one, by the sound of it). He walks in and out a lot, carrying Darcy’s suitcases and then boxes of decorations, but somehow he doesn’t get caught again.</p><p>Bruce is the last one up. He's still tired from their last battle the other day, and he shuffles in clutching a mug of cocoa like it's the only thing tethering him to this mortal plane.</p><p>'Hey, Sleeping Beauty,' says Clint. ‘Wasn’t sure if you’d be joining us.’</p><p>And to his delight, Bruce grunts and leans against the doorframe, rubbing his eyes. 'Yup. I mean, morning.' He's wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater Clint has ever seen. It looks like it was knitted by someone’s colour blind grandmother; it’s at least five different shades of red and the Santa face on the front is lopsided. It’s also far too big for him – he has to roll the sleeves up and it permanently hangs down one shoulder. Steve gave it to him last week and he’s worn it every day since. Clint can’t tell whether Bruce actually likes the thing or if he’s just desperate not to hurt Cap’s feelings.</p><p>Bruce looks up in mild alarm at the sound of <em>Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree</em>. Before he can react, Thor has pulled him in for a (slightly overenthusiastic) kiss. Three very awkward seconds pass. Then he pulls away with an audible smack, utters a cheery, ‘Morning, Banner!’ and wanders off like nothing happened.</p><p>Bruce stares after him in bewilderment, blinking slowly. Then he looks to Clint.</p><p>‘Mistletoe, buddy.’ Clint grins. ‘You just got got.’</p><p>Bruce's lips twitch in an attempt at speech. ‘Um.’ He swallows. ‘Right.’</p><p>‘Who just kissed Thor?’ Tony pokes his head out of the kitchen. ‘Bruce! Oh boy. Please tell me someone filmed that. What was it like? Was there tongue?’</p><p>To save himself from replying, Bruce takes an extra-large sip of cocoa. And chokes on it. And spills hot liquid down his front. ‘Shit…’ He runs off in search of a bathroom, still spluttering.</p><p>‘Just so we’re clear,’ says Maria as she passes through, ‘if he Hulks out and ruins my last two hours of decorating because of you, they’ll never find your body.’ Behind her, Natasha is practically making heart eyes. Oh, this is going to be good.</p><p> </p><p>It’s the best week of Clint’s life.</p><p>Most people complain about the new addition, no one seems too upset by the sudden increase in kissing around the tower. Clint suspects that some of them secretly <em>want</em> to get caught. Well, <em>someone</em> had to do something about all the sexual tension in here. Clint watches Bucky kiss a blushing Jane on the forehead and feels a little twist in his stomach. He averts his gaze and takes another swig of eggnog.</p><p>Sam kisses Natasha. Tony kisses Rhodey. Phil kisses Steve (and it’s probably the best day of his life).</p><p>But by far, the one who gets caught the most is Bruce. Most mornings, he’s too engaged in a book or a science article to pay attention to where he’s going. The others realise this, and make a game out of flustering him.</p><p>‘Oh, come on!’ he groans, rubbing his cheek as Darcy skips gleefully away from him, shouting, ‘I got him again! You’re going down, Stark! JARVIS, add that to the scoreboard.’</p><p>‘This is bullying,’ says Bruce, but he’s smiling bashfully as he pads into the kitchen, pausing to check the coast is clear.</p><p>‘After you,’ says Steve, stepping away so he can enter. Clint has lost track of the score, but Steve is probably the only one who <em>hasn’t</em> kissed Bruce yet. ‘Oh – wait, Bruce, you’ve got…’ He grabs some paper towels to clean off Darcy’s lipstick on Bruce's cheek, but only succeeds in smearing it further. ‘Now I’ve made it worse.’</p><p>Bruce laughs softly. ‘You wanna help me bake? Tony keeps burning the cookies so he’s banned from “helping”.’</p><p>‘The recipe said fifteen minutes at 375 degrees!’ Tony protests.</p><p>Bruce turns to him. ‘And what <em>did</em> you do?’</p><p>‘I baked them for five minutes at 450 degrees. It should have worked! It’s <em>physics</em>, Bruce!’</p><p>‘And that’s why you’re banned from the kitchen.’</p><p>Tony throws his hands up dramatically. ‘Well, you can’t fire me, I quit! Honestly, what’s baking without a little fire hazard here and there?’</p><p>‘Normal baking?’ Natasha suggests, breezing through and whirling a pair of wrapping paper tubes with deadly precision. ‘If you want to make yourself useful, you can help us wrap. DUM-E’s helping tie the ribbons.’ She steps nimbly over Clint’s stuck-out foot and clonks him on the head with the cardboard tube.</p><p>In the kitchen, Bruce freezes as Steve rests a finger under his chin and tilts his head up. ‘Wh– what are you doing?’</p><p>Steve pulls his hand back like he’s been burned. ‘I was just checking to see if I’d missed a spot. Um. Sorry.’</p><p>Bruce backs away, looking down at his feet. ‘So… cookies?’</p><p>‘Yes. Cookies.’</p><p>As they get to work baking, Clint notes the subtle differences in their body language. Steve smiles more around Bruce, occasionally bumping elbows with him as they roll out pastry and discuss techniques. Bruce also seems more relaxed, a little less guarded than he usually is. Clint had noticed that they were hanging out more together these days, but now he’s wondering if something else might be going on.</p><p> </p><p>The best part about the whole thing is that unless the couple commit to a kiss, JARVIS will continue to play Christmas music at them wherever they go. Indefinitely.</p><p>‘Stark,’ yells Fury as he strides through the living room accompanied by the warbling of Mariah Carey, ‘if you don’t turn this off I’m going to put my fist somewhere it’s not supposed to go.'</p><p>Happy hurries after him, red-faced. 'Legally sir I can't let you do that but I am also annoyed at him.'</p><p>Clint watches them go with a grin, then settles on the couch next to Bucky. ‘Best idea I ever had.’</p><p>‘Sure beats my last Christmas,’ says Bucky, passing Clint a bowl of chocolate raisins. When Clint first met Bucky, he’d expected him to be like Steve – no-nonsense, all about the virtues of justice et cetera. But it turns out that Bucky is a laidback, fun-loving little shit-stirrer after Clint’s own heart.</p><p>‘Actually,’ Bucky continues, ‘this may be the best Christmas ever. Purely based on the number of chocolate raisins I’ve eaten this year.’</p><p>‘You’re the only person I’ve ever met who <em>likes</em> those. You’re such a grandpa.’</p><p>Bucky shrugs and takes the bowl back. ‘Your loss, whippersnapper.’</p><p>They watch the door for a while. Helen Cho has been not-so-subtly lurking nearby in the hope that Thor might show up. Bucky yawns. ‘Someone needs to catch Stevie under there, but he’s too good.’</p><p>‘I guess I could reconfigure the mistletoe. Keep people on their toes.’</p><p>‘He got Maria the other day, but he only does cheek kisses. Like a gentleman. Boring.’</p><p>Clint checks his watch. ‘Hey, Bruce should be up in a minute. JARVIS?’</p><p>
  <em>‘He will arrive in approximately thirty-eight seconds.’</em>
</p><p>Clint gets out his wallet. ‘Twenty bucks if you ham it the fuck up.’</p><p>‘Done.’ Bucky snatches the money and stands up, then hides just out of sight of the doorway. Helen slinks away.</p><p>Bruce realises what he’s done a second before <em>Sleigh Ride</em> blasts through the living room. He looks up nervously, then relaxes as Bucky shrugs apologetically. ‘We can’t keep meeting like this, doll.’</p><p>He sighs and smiles softly. ‘Alright, let’s get it over with. I’ve got a lot of baking to – mmph – !‘</p><p>Bucky wraps an arm around him and <em>dips him</em> like it’s the end of a black and white movie, their lips pressed firmly together. Bruce's tablet clatters to the floor and his left leg kicks up blindly in an attempt to balance himself.</p><p>Clint wolf-whistles. Tony takes a photo on his phone. Steve sighs. ‘Bucky, can you – <em>not</em> do that?’</p><p>Bucky straightens up and puts Bruce down, who has turned a festive shade of red. ‘He’s all yours Stevie. You want a turn?’</p><p>Bruce scuttles off to the kitchen, still blushing furiously. ‘I’m gonna, um. Bake.’</p><p>As Bucky sits down, Clint hands him another five. ‘You’re hilarious, man. Holy shit, that was worth it.  You kiss all the ladies like that?’</p><p>Bucky winks. ‘You want some lessons? I can arrange em.’</p><p>Steve’s reaction was interesting; if Clint didn’t know better he’d say he was jealous.</p><p>Bruce slinks back in, picks up his tablet, and dashes out again.</p><p> </p><p>Over the next few days, the tower gears into full festive mode. Clint’s diet now consists almost entirely of candy canes and anything that Bruce and Steve bake. The mistletoe definitely broke the ice for a lot of people, and the tower is filled with easy merriment.</p><p>Christmas Eve is spent watching festive movies. Everyone gathers around on cushions and couches; Natasha sits on Maria’s lap and periodically feeds her marshmallows. Steve and Bruce started out sitting together, but then Darcy sat between them to show Steve a YouTube video so they sit a little awkwardly. Bucky sits with Sam, apparently so he can annoy him. Clint ends up sitting with Rhodey.</p><p>Which is fine. Really. Clint is far too mature to get hung up on something so petty. But… he can’t help feeling like he’s missed his chance to “accidentally” sling an arm around Bucky’s shoulders...</p><p>One by one, the Avengers go up to bed.</p><p>‘JARVIS,’ says Clint with a heavy heart, ‘I guess the jig is up.’</p><p>
  <em>‘Mistletoe Protocol is now disabled.’</em>
</p><p>By now most of them have gone, but Bucky lingers. ‘Hey, you want some help taking this stuff down?’</p><p>‘Sure.’</p><p>They spend the last hour of Christmas Eve de-mistletoeing the tower, with some help from Bucky. He's had his fun, and people deserve to have a peaceful Christmas at least. He might leave a few sprigs in obvious places though, just to set the mood.</p><p>He's about to check the kitchen when the sight beyond stops him.</p><p>The scene looks like something from a vintage Christmas card. Frank Sinatra croons softly from the radio. Cakes and cookies cluster every surface, meticulously iced and icing-sugared. The baker in question is Bruce, who is now wearing an Iron Man apron on top of his terrible sweater. Steve has him backed up against the counter and they're kissing like they don't need to breathe. Interestingly, there isn't a sprig of mistletoe in sight.</p><p>'Oh, finally.' Bucky appears beside Clint, peering around the door. 'Tony owes me ten bucks.'</p><p>'Wait, you knew about this?'</p><p>'It was kinda obvious. Did you see Steve's face when I kissed Bruce? Priceless.'</p><p>'Yeah, that kiss would have made anyone jealous.' Clint rubs the back of his neck, staring absently at the flour in Steve's hair. Maybe he should have let himself get caught a couple times. Then it might have taken his mind off –</p><p>‘Oh, look.’ Bucky points upwards. ‘You missed one.'</p><p>Clint looks. Sure enough, a sprig of mistletoe dangles over the doorway. 'Oh yeah. Thanks.'</p><p>But Bucky just smiles at him. 'Gotta honour the tradition, doll,' he murmurs, eyes shining softly in the low light.</p><p>Clint swallows as a warm hand curls around his waist. 'Yeah,' he whispers. 'It's only fair.'</p><p>He's half-expecting Bucky to make a spectacle of it, but the lips that press against his are sincere and tender. He tastes like mulled wine and chocolate raisins. By the time they pull away Clint’s heart is pounding.</p><p>‘You know,’ says Bucky, ‘all you had to do was ask. I was wondering if I’d have to slip you a note or something.’</p><p>‘Wait.’ Clint’s brain is finally catching up with his mouth. ‘So we could have spent this <em>whole week</em> making out and making everyone uncomfortable?’</p><p>Bucky laughs. ‘Yup. We’ve got some time to make up for.’</p><p>Clint leans in for another kiss, but then Steve says, ‘Buck?’ In the kitchen, they’ve both stopped to look over. Bruce in particular seems a little breathless. They look like teenagers who’ve just been caught by their parents.</p><p>Clint takes Bucky’s hand and pulls him away. ‘Well, I see this making-out spot is taken. G’night, guys!’ He laughs at the stupefied expressions on their faces as they disappear around the corner. Despite his PhDs, Bruce looks as though he couldn’t add two and two right now.</p><p>They settle on the couch and kiss in the glow of the Christmas tree lights. There are presents everywhere, too many to fit under the tree.</p><p>‘What is it?’ asks Bucky as Clint pulls away, laughing.</p><p>‘Oh, nothing.’ He smiles. ‘I just remembered what I got Steve for Christmas. Maybe Bruce will show him how to use it…’</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>